Did Sex Get Better With Age? Is This True For You Too?
Posted by STEPHANIE SCHULL, PHD
Taboo buster: older women have less interest in sex.
Where did this taboo come from?
Is its origin based on the false belief that sex is only ever about procreation and once a woman is no longer fertile there should be no call for interest in sex? I wonder if it is grounded on the fact that without pelvic muscle training, over time a woman will develop sexual dysfunction as a consequence of weakening muscles?
But with pelvic muscle training, there is every reason to believe sex could actually get better with age! If a woman starts pelvic exercise during menopause, she may well develop stronger muscles than she has every had at any age, which would make orgasm stronger than she has ever known before.
Moreover, with maturity, we are less likely to be inhibited by society's many rules and prohibitions. Some subcultures have very strict unconsciously conveyed rules that can quietly and unknowingly restrict our behavior, which can have a very real consequence on limiting our sexual experience. With time we begin to see these forces for what they are and can better stand up against them and claim the sex life that is right for us as individuals. In sum, as women age we tend to put up less with other people's nonsense and do what is rational and good for ourselves.
As we lose the fear of pregnancy, we have less anxiety with each sex act. I know even with lots of birth control methods employed at once, I was haunted by stories of women who got pregnant while using birth control. It always added worry, and being preoccupied with a worry and great sex do not go well together.
With life experience accumulated overtime we become less sensitive to the messy side of sex that may have turned us off when we were perfectly sheltered youth. The noises, smells, and squishiness of sex becomes a realm of earthly delight, or at least, there is a deep acceptance and appreciation of the earthiness of the human body. With things no longer becoming a turn-off, but more of a turn-on, sex gets better and hotter.
Related to all the above, I no longer have embarrassment or shame. I cannot recall the last time I had that feeling of youth of being worried and shut down over some thought about my body, or the other person's body, or something that happened. Rather, it is sex with full lights on, lots of noises, asking for what I want, accepting more what is offered, and fully just going for it. I am never disappointed because with maturity comes acceptance and gratitude. Acceptance and gratitude for my sexual partners and of myself.